Saturday, December 21, 2013

PRIDE IN THE NAME OF LOVE

A strange thing happened recently which has prompted the overuse of a particular parenting phrase many times a day.

My kids are doing wonderful things that are taking me by surprise and making me realise that they have the potential to do anything they want in life.

Amidst the usual repetitive house-training chorus such as “please pick up xxx from the floor”, “don’t hurt your brother/sister” and “please don’t swing off the curtains”, I’m now finding myself saying something really rather special.
 

It’s the simplest of words, yet I’m finding them to be very effective: Funnily enough, it’s making my heart glow with oozy, sparkly embers of mummy love.
 

Those words are: “I’m proud of you” and “You must be very proud of yourself”. 
It’s making me smile now just thinking of all the times I’ve said it recently. 

Because my kids are growing up (finally) into spectacular individuals. I’m really impressed with them. They’re really taking part in life. They’re turning into confident, capable and amazing little people.
 

Every day they are filling me with wonder. One day I was proud of Jago for reading; Tegan for being able to rollerblade; Lorcan for counting to 20.
 

Another day I burst with pride when they took part in the school show and shined on stage, compared to last year when they hid behind their friends, petrified.
 

Ready for their starring roles

I’ve realised one thing. That I can do wonders to boost their self-esteem at this formative, memory-making phase in their life. By telling them how proud I am, and suggesting they might be proud of themselves, it freezes the moment as something special, and hopefully creates a special memory to be lodged in their memory banks.
 



By simply noticing their actions, it brings full awareness to the moment and lets them know they are seen and it is positive. I hope that it:
  • Improves our relationship
  • Boosts their self-esteem
  • Gives them confidence
  • Makes them proud of themselves

It’s a newish word in my vocabulary, as I don’t think my own parents programmed it into my psyche as a child. But it’s one that I want to keep using, and it’s a sense of satisfaction that I want to foster in my kids as I do everything in my power to show pleasure for their achievements or qualities.
 

  



Here’s hoping I can keep it up. And I don’t overdo it.

PS, I'm proud of my hubby too, for he has moved mountains this year to set himself on the path of doing what he really wants to do in life. Well done Tom, 2014 will be your year of consolidating all the foundations you've put in place. Have hope and pride, my love. We're all proud of you. And thanks for being such a great dad.

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